Blonde
Jokes
BLONDE FACTORY WORKER
Two factory workers were talking. I think I'll take some time off
from work," said the man. "How do you think you'll do
that?" asked the blonde woman. He proceeded to show her . .
. by climbing up to the rafters and hanging upside down.
The boss walked in, saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and
asked him what on earth he was doing. I'm a light bulb," answered
the guy. I think you need some time off," said the boss.
So the man jumped down and walked out of the factory. The blonde
began walking out too. The boss asked her where did she think she
was going. The blonde answered, "Home --- I can't work in the
dark".
ICE FISHING BLONDE
A blonde decided she needed something new and different for a winter
hobby. She went to the bookstore and bought every book she could
find on ice fishing. For weeks she read and studied, hoping to become
an expert in the field.
Finally she decided she knew enough, and out she went for her first
ice fishing trip. She carefully gathered up and packed all the tools
and equipment needed for the excursion. Each piece of equipment
had its own special place in her kit.
When she got to the ice, she found a quiet little area, placed
her padded stool, and carefully laid out her tools. Just as she
was about to make her first cut into the ice, a booming voice from
the sky bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!" Startled,
the blonde grabbed up all her belongings, moved further along the
ice, poured some hot chocolate from her thermos, and started to
cut a new hole. Again the voice from above bellowed, "There
are no fish under the ice!"
Amazed, the blonde wasn't quite sure what to do, as this certainly
wasn't covered in any of her books. She packed up her gear and moved
to the far side of the ice. Once there, she stopped for a few moments
to regain her calm. Then she was extremely careful to set everything
up perfectly -- tools in the right place, chair positioned just
so.
Just as she was about to cut this new hole, the voice came again,
"There are no fish under the ice!" Petrified, the blonde
looked skyward and asked "Is that you Lord?" The voice
boomed back, "No, this is the manager of the skating rink!"
BLONDE POLICE OFFICER
A blonde female police officer pulls over a blonde in a convertible
sports car for speeding. She walks up to the car and asks the blonde
for her driver's license.
The blonde convertible driver searches through her purse in vain.
Finally she asks, "What does it look like?" The blonde
police officer tells her, "It's that thing with your picture
on it."
The blonde driver searches for a few more seconds, pulls out her
compact, opens it and sure enough sees herself. She hands the compact
to the blonde cop.
After a few seconds looking at the compact, the blonde cop rolls
her eyes, hands the compact back to the blonde convertible driver
and says....... If you would have told me you were a police officer
when I first pulled you over we could have avoided this whole thing." |
